Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My dad just said "fuck circus"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
