My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Pooping to opera.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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