Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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