The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize