I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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