I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
