You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
