I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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