Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
