In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
