I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
