If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
