I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
