No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
