Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
