Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
