I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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