well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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