Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's like iHOP with fire
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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