Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize