Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
