real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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