you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
