I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize