I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize