apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
