Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
