he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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