Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
