Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the day after is always just damage control
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
