I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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