the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
