I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
