If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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