Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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