THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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