He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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