Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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