I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
