so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
