oh god the rape fog is back!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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