12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
