i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize