yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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