Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
