five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
