...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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