Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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