we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize