DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
