I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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