I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are we still banned from the library?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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