this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my poor anus
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
