My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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