help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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