hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
