I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize