That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
