How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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