I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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