i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize