I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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