Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
