so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
