Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
