So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
